Toward the end of 2012, I read Katie Davis’s story and God used it to completely change my life. Never have I ever been so humbled, inspired and convicted. Several ideas that I will talk about on this blog either were inspired by her story or strengthened by it.
A close friend named Grant told me to read her book called Kisses From Katie. Grant is a Christian and friend I hold in high esteem and have a ton of respect for, so I don’t take his recommendations lightly. I’m too cheap to buy anything, so luckily after while I discovered a friend had a copy I could borrow and I started reading immediately.
Katie was a high schooler who had everything going for her. I don’t remember all the exacts but she was class president, top of her class, homecoming queen etc. Her family was well-off and she had college all laid out, ready to achieve American dreams. But something wasn’t right.
She later said she always wanted to do missions of some sort. After some serious convincing, her parents finally let her go serve in Africa and she never looked back. She started her own full-blown ministry that serves orphans and desperate people in some of the worst poverty situations. She supports dozens of kids going to school who wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Education is vital to breaking the cycle of hopelessness, because without it they can't get a job and climb out of poverty.
She had to chose serving God over her family, over her dreams, over her plans, hopes and ideas. As she says, ‘I quit my life,' and chose to spend it in Africa because that is what God called her to do.
There is no way I can do her justice on a blog. But her story punched me in the face more ways than I can count. She made me realize that I wasn’t even a Christian and that I never truly submitted to God’s will. Matthew 16:24-25 hit me like a ton of bricks. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.”
I had heard it several times before but this time it really hit home. I just realized that I had never truly given my life to Christ. I was going through the motions and all my life decisions were based on what I wanted. I actually spent more time and effort making it look like I had it together and was a solid Christian, than actually living like one. I knew what I had to do. I have given it all do to Him, followed her example of surrender and committed the rest of my life to serving Him.
It has been crazy getting to know myself, getting to know the new Mills and actually being a real Christian. There are so many things that I used to devote time to, that used to be important, that I realized are meaningless. I don’t obsessively workout, I hardly follow pro sports and I don’t even mind anymore that I don’t live in the country. Now I actually like meeting and talking to people, I enjoy subbing Kindergarten and I’m much more laid back and easy-going.
Peace. Peace is how I know where I’m supposed to be. Ever since college I have been plagued by the severest kind of discontent with life and myself. No matter what I did, how hard I worked, what I accomplished, none of it could fill the God-shaped chasm in my soul and I carried myself with a cynical bitterness towards life. Now that is all gone. The Holy Spirit has entered me and changed me. I have an unbelievable peace, everyday, in knowing my life is not my own and living for something greater than myself.
“The cross beckons the man who is sick of himself.” - Damon Thompson
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