It grows more and more obvious. It's a progression and I am thoroughly enjoying it. The worldly things I used to enjoy are falling away. I used to enjoy pro sports. I used to enjoy metal concerts.
I used to enjoy action movies. I used to enjoy following the Minnesota Vikings. Now if someone asks who my favorite teams are, I might mention Plains, but other than that, none. I used to enjoy ESPN.
I used to enjoy classic rock. I used to enjoy traveling, simply for the sake a trying new things and making myself more well-rounded. I just wanted to be able to say, 'I've been to this many states' or 'I've been to this many countries.' I used to enjoy making people feel stupid with sarcasm.
I used to enjoy being in the presence of pro athletes or 'rock stars.' I used to enjoy beating people at any competition. I used to enjoy PTI. I used to enjoy writing sports articles. I used to enjoy being taller than people. I used to enjoy going to exotic car shows. I used to enjoy having four times as much money as I do now, just to feel comfortable. I used to enjoy reading fiction. I used to enjoy excessive exercise to make myself toned and fit. Now, these things more or less bore me. I'll watch a movie, that I used to be one of my favorites, and now I'll hardly find it enjoyable. I'm not saying I'll never watch a ball game again or enjoy a good game of pickup basketball but those things are no longer my life, my everything.
The longer I am a Christian (almost four months), the less and less I enjoy the things this world has to offer. I can see now why I made them such a big deal; why 'normal' people make them such a big deal. It's because that's all I had. All I had was playing sports, lifting weights, watching sports and other things I enjoyed. That was all I had to 'make myself happy.' That was all I had to live for. What an empty, flimsy, broken foundation! What a pitiful and sad life. No wonder I was so bitter. No wonder I was so cynical and dissatisfied. All of those things were fleeting, only pleasing for a short time. I was so hungry for something more and I tried to fulfill those desires with the same things as everyone else; the same typical worldly pleasures, things that won't last.
Placing so much importance in things that I can't take with me, got me nothing but severe discontent. I mean, think about it: how foolish, how inane is it, to base how well your day goes or even your mood, on things like if your favorite sports team won or not? How well your stocks did? If you get to watch your favorite show? This world will not satisfy you. It might please you for a minute, but it won't be there for you. It will take a lot more than it will give.
To me, now that I'm on 'the other side,' depression is not baffling anymore. Before, depression always confused me. I mean yes, if a loved one dies or something else traumatic, that made more sense. But other than that, I never could figure out how, as well-off Americans, one could let themselves get so down. But now I get it. If one didn't know Jesus and had no purpose, no peace and nothing to live for, of course that would be depressing! I don't think I realized it before and definitely would not have admitted it , but even I was moderately depressed. I wanted something more, so much more. I didn't know it then, but now it is obvious that until I finally found Jesus, this life is meaningless. Serving others in the name of the Lord is the only way you will ever find true satisfaction on this earth.
Vance Havner quipped, “Christians, like snowflakes, are frail, but when they stick together they can stop traffic. -Rick Warren
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